Have you seen that quote “Be you, everyone else is taken?”
I’m always in thought, so the wrinkles on my forehead furrow. It makes me look unapproachable or so I have been told. Most of the time it is ok for those thoughts to stay in my head but God has asked me to live my life out loud (ish). What is the ish? Everything you read or see here is me. 100% raw me, except my name. The truth is my name doesn’t even matter. I’m not famous or trying to be infamous. I am like every other mother, wife and dog lover, wanting the best for my kids, doing her best as a wife and out on a walk picking up the poop, which is a good metaphor for my life.
I love people and am afraid of people. I’m generous and cheap. I’m easy and complex. I am funny and I can kill a fun moment. I work hard, have two daughters, am a perfectionist and make wildly crazy (and sometimes funny) mistakes. It has taken me 45 years to be me and be ok with it. At 45, I’m in the back half of life now. I believe what I do from this day forward will hopefully matter – believing I mattered all started when I began to have faith. When I gave my life up to God. That faith gives me peace. That peace helps me through the trials, which come and go more than I would like.
In sharing our stories we are not alone. Belonging is one of our most innate human desires. In a world where it is easy to hide, I believe we should instead live our truths out loud. Not to boast or garner sympathy but to belong. It is in belonging that we gain strength and fortitude to persevere when times are hard. And there are hard days.
The number of husbands I have had
The number of countries I have lived in
The number of houses I have owned
The number of trees that have fallen on/in front of me
My lucky number, especially on Friday
Genesis 50:20 “You intended to harm me; but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”