Raw, Reflective relatable.
Where I’ve been – WHERE WE CAN GO
Family is complicated. I come from a big family. We are open and accepting but we are also filled with our own issues. Rarely are things easy.
I believe that marriage is 90% effort. Sometimes I try really hard. And sometimes I’m really tired of trying. But at the end of the day I love my husband.
Being a mother is both rewarding and exhausting. It’s checklist after checklist. It’s doing all the work and not seeing the final result for 20 years. But it’s worth it!
Can I do it on my own? Can He do it? These are questions I wrestle with when life is hard. Faith is the action I need for myself while I am trying to discern a next step. And waiting is hard.
The wind, the rain, the bible, nature or a higher power. I started believing in the wind, today I believe in more. For me, He makes it so I don’t have to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders.
Forgiveness is a daily choice. The thought of it disrupts my anger. It can feel impossible. In time though, it disrupts me, softens me. It severs my connection to the anger and it restores my peace and hope.
I’m always in thought, so the wrinkles on my forehead furrow. It makes me look unapproachable or so I have been told. Most of the time it is ok for those thoughts to stay in my head but God has asked me to live my life out loud (ish). What is the ish? Everything you read or see here is me. 100% raw me, except my name. The truth is my name doesn’t even matter. I’m not famous or trying to be infamous. I am like every other mother, wife and dog lover, wanting the best for my kids, doing her best as a wife and out on a walk picking up the poop, which is a good metaphor for my life.
The girls are away for the week. First time in their lives and the first time in our marriage we haven't had a kid with us. Yes really, first time! (We started out with my husband's kid) I keep telling people they were ready they just didn't know they were ready. It...
Today is April 1st. In 16 days my book, Buried Saints, is being released by She Writes Press. I’m a published author. That is such a cool thing to say! Makes my heart beam with pride, except I don’t often say it. I published under a pen name so, "Author" is not listed...
Exploring the idea of blame and shame has been harder than I had expected. It's not a bright and cheery topic. I can feel my own guard go up as I write every word. My shoulders are tight and my brain is fighting off thoughts of anger and ironically blame. I can't even...
Let's face it, we live in a world that loves to find blame. And we all do it. A quick look at social media, blogs and advice columns confirms our collective, societal view that someone is to blame for everything. But then as adults, we face intensifying pressure to be...
In the early days after finding out about the abuse my daughters had endured, we would need to meet specific people who interacted with them to explain the current and often visible emotional imbalances of our family. Our family was a wreck and it showed. It only took...
Within my loyal tribe of book supporters, a few have wondered why I wrote this part of my journey. Truthfully, having written under a pen name, I don’t get asked that often but when I am, typically people first want to know how our family is. We are doing well. We are...